The Seven Year Plan

"We'll take that," I said.

"Take what?" my wife replied.

"The boom box at the end of the bed. That will be one of the things we take to Australia with us."

"We're taking all of our stuff."

"That would be way too expensive. We're bringing a couple suitcases and a couple boxes. That's it."

"Well, we're bringing our waterbed. I've got to have my waterbed."

"Honey, we could buy five waterbeds for the price of shipping this thing to Australia."

"Well, I want to have our stuff."

"Maybe we could buy a houseboat and just drive to Australia. That way when we want to move to a new country every couple years, we just take our house and our stuff with us."

That was it. That was the conversation I shared with my wife as we lie too late in bed on a brisk February morning in upstate New York that set us upon our seven year plan to retire and sail to Australia. From such a simple conversation a great adventure was begun.

It has already been a great adventure and we haven't been more than 20 miles off the Atlantic coast thus far. We are over 9 years into our "Seven Year Plan" as I write this, but we are on track to buy our final boat and set sail in the spring. That will actually put us just past 10 years into "The Seven Year Plan." In fairness to us and for those keeping track of the math, (men, sailors, and especially male sailors like to do the math) the original plan really called for 7 years and 8 months.

As I often state, "I make plans, not promises." I repeat that comment in an attempt to defray potential future condemnation from those people whom would chide me if we failed to execute "The Plan." "Greg, I thought you were going to Australia. What are you still doing here?" is the snide cackle I hear in my head from some faceless person to whom I recklessly shared "The Plan." Recklessly sharing "The Plan" is actually the first calculated step in any difficult endeavor. I've run two marathons in my life. I exalted my intent to complete the 26.2 mile arduous trek to anyone who would listen at the beginning of my training for each. The fear of torments for failure from friends and family is always a great motivator. We are actually susceptible to those taunts now for not living up to our self imposed time line, but those familiar with our countless obstacles from the beginning would spare their tongue.

You will notice I originally stated "buy a houseboat and drive to Australia" but have since only spoke of sailing. My wife and I had never boated in any capacity when this plan was hatched. Our ignorance was complete. Ignorance is often considered an insult which is foolish. Wallowing blissfully in ignorance is insufferable but not being familiar with something of which you've had no exposure nor previous interest is very normal and not at all worthy of shame. This etiquette lesson I've countlessly repeated to my poor, sweet, intelligent, wife of near 27 years. Usually, after I've foolishly reveled in telling a humorous tale of her ignorance for our friends enjoyment. This paragraph has been a long winded way of saying "Spoiler Alert. Here I go again!"

My ignorance of boating was astonishing but my first hurdle was convincing my wife that she would be comfortable on a houseboat. I drug her to the internet that winter of 2004 in upstate New York where we huddled in front of the small computer screen as it slowly revealed picture after picture of houseboats. I successfully inched along through the ancient technology until my wife was convinced a houseboat was spacious enough. We have since parked our boat along side houseboats worth over a million dollars and would engulf our current house. "OK. A houseboat would be fine, but no sailboats!" my wife exclaimed. Obstacle one cleared.

For obstacle number two I was aware of my ignorance just as I'm aware that I stated the obstacles were countless but now I'm counting them. This is where that ends. I knew there were likely issues with the scenario of driving a houseboat across an ocean, but it seemed like a good idea. It took me a few days of thirstily trudging through the internet to find the answer. A house boat would most likely flip over before it ran out of gas which would happen just a few miles from shore. Houseboats are a quiet lake summer home and not a seafaring vessel by any stretch. After a quick look at powered boats I discovered they were cost prohibitive by their inherent price and the need for fuel. This led to sailboats.
I'm not sure how I was able to convince my wife that a sailboat would be acceptable. We've discussed this recently and she has no memory of any objection to sailboats although I certainly remember her disdain for the cramped vessels. Pointing out disparities in our recollection is never in my best interest, but I foolishly run my mouth anyways like a boy in need of attention even if it comes in the form of scorn. I believe I was able to show there was sufficient space on a sailboat, but that topic is better explained when I discuss the selection of our cruising sailboat.

Money. That's always a hurdle. We chose seven years for our plan because that is how long it was gong to be before I was eligible for a 20 year retirement from the New York State Police. I would shrewdly mention to my wife that seven years would most likely not get us to where we needed to be financially. I explained we would most likely need at least one more year, if not two, to make our endeavor economically feasible. Her reply from the beginning was "Fuck NO!. I'm not spending one extra winter in New York!" You must understand this Yankee stole this beautiful southern belle from coastal Gulfport, Mississippi and planted her in frigid upstate New York. She has no use for the cold. In truth, I can find no use for snow or temperatures below 60 degrees Fahrenheit either. No matter how grand our motivation, it still didn't bridge the void between how much money we had and how much money we needed. I explained several times over the years that retirement was a dollar amount and not a time. Instead of forcing the facts down my wife's throat, the method of bringing unfortunate information to my wife's attention, not arguing the point after her aggressive response, and then repeating over various intervals until she was able to stomach reality has served me well over time. In this case, it didn't really matter. We didn't have the money.

For those of you coming to our blog looking for stories of our travels, they are coming. They might actually better come from a blog my wife, Ouida, would write but I will include several as well. The preceding is the start of a book I've had in my head for years and this morning is the time it had to come out. There's so much more to write but we're still working "The Plan" and that takes priority. Stephen King has said that writers don't write for any other reason than they HAVE to. I wouldn't say that I quite have this "Passion" yet, but enough events have coalesced for me to finally start writing this book/blog that I may one day call myself a writer. If you like what I've forced onto paper, please let me know and share the link with friends. There's no need to have an interest in sailing to appreciate this blog. I think it's more about life and having a dream which we all do. Hopefully you will enjoy the ride and occasionally have a laugh. Keep in mind, Ouida will have a much harder time of keeping my arrogance in check if you like it too much. Cheers!